Sunday, July 1, 2012

BURNED FILMS returns to school us on TED

WASSUP AMERICA?  Yep, I said Wassup....that just happened.  

My delinquency continues and I yield the floor again to Burned Films, whose writing continues to wow and amaze...we are lucky that he chose to opt out of Magic Mike...although, Tanning Chatum is actually pretty bearable and Magic Mike looks decent...yeah, I said it.  I may see it tomorrow if only to see it in a theater packed with ladies, for the ambiance.

Family Guy’s creator Seth McFarlane first feature film Ted is a story of a little boys Teddy Bear that comes to life because of his wish.

When I first heard about this idea about a little boys bear coming to life I thought it might be funny.  I am a huge fan of Family Guy so I hoped there would be some damn good comedy involved. I saw the Red Band trailer in front of that stupid ass movie “The Dictator”; by the way the “Ted” trailer was the best part of the film. I lost count at how many times he said the F-WORD. I was laughing so hard just from the trailer that I had tears in my eyes. So I knew I would be seeing this film.

So the film starts out, with little 8 year old John Bennett asking the suburban Christian kids who celebrate Christmas by beating up the neighborhood Jew, if he can beat the Jew up too.  But lo and behold, the Jewish kid who is getting his butt kicked by all the other kids won't let little ol' John in on the action.

Christmas morning John opens his present from Santa to reveal a cute Teddy Bear. He names him Ted. They are best of friends, and thunder buddies for life. Given the disappointments John has experienced in the lack of friends department, John wishes upon a star that his best pal would be real.  Yep, he comes to life, and almost makes John's parents have a heart attack. 

Ted is a worldwide star...even appearing with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. But even a talking bear becomes old hat after a while and, a quarter-century later, Ted suffers the fate of many other child stars, indulging in major substance abuse while living in the past and mooching off others. 

Now almost 30 years later Ted (Seth McFarlane) is a raucously funny goof, boozing, pot-smoking, foul-mouthed, horn dog, who by the way still manages to get the ladies with no penis, and he has talked to Hasbro about that issue. Ted is a teddy bear who would be instant new best friends with The Hangover guys. He is living with a now 35 year old John (Mark Wahlberg) and his girlfriend Lori Collins (Mila Kunis). John works for a car rental company, and is very happy with his low paying job.  The plot thickens when Lori wants John to ask Ted to move out, and John is forced to choose between the love of his life, or his life-long Thunder buddy. 

The CGI done on TED was awesome. No complaints. I feel like this was a live version of an episode of “Family guy”, and loved every minute of it.

I thought the acting in this film was good enough. Not great, but they got the job done. A lot of surprise cameos in this one.  I was very surprised that this movie had heart and good character development, with an all around good story. This film will keep you laughing all night. They have jokes in there that made my jaw drop. I literally choked on my drink on one particular joke.  You will laugh.  Not too many films serve up laughs that just keep coming from beginning to end (SEE ALSO: THE HANGOVER). The interesting aspect of some of the humor...Ted says things that really would only be funny coming from a little teddy bear.

The bottom line if you love Family Guy or American Dad then you are going to love this film. I highly recommend you go see this movie and just enjoy the hell out of it.  Sure it has some flaws, but honestly the film is a whole lot of laughs, and crude sexual humor. Leave your thoughts at the door and laugh your ass off.
Thanks Burned!  Good to have you good broheim and to all of you out there in film land, head out to the theater soon....until later, take care!

Reel Rhino

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