TOWER HEIST Review and Am I an Ass...don't answer that.

So I'll cut to the "I'm an Ass" part first.  I did go and see Tower Heist this evening.  I would like to think that for around 150 movies at the theater a year, that I am a sensitive movie goer.

I hate when folks bring loud and inappropriate aged kids to the theater.

I hate when cell phones aren't set to silent and when these phones do ring, the person who owns it can't seem to sort out:  --a) where the phone is, and   --b) how to stop the phone from ringing in the darkened environment of the theater.

Even more so, I hate so very much, when people actually answer the phones in the theater.  Are you kidding me...you are really answering the phone...

"Hello"

"I'm at the movies..."

"I'll call you back later..."

"Yeah, okay, I'll meet you there..."

"Tell Bob I said hi..."

"Okay....okay...okay....bye."

Cardinal rule...you don't answer your phone at the theater.  I am on call, 24/7/365.  Usually 5 or 6 times a year, I will have a movie interrupted by a call out.  When my phone "rings," at the theater, it is set to silent.  I get up, press answer, and let the person on the other end of the phone listen to the movie as I walk out of the theater.

Bottom line, I hate inappropriate disruptions at the theater.

I am a considerate movie goer, but apparently today, I stepped over one man's line.

When the credits were approximately 3/4 of the way through, I pulled out to update the Media Stinger page.  If you don't use it yet, be sure to check out MEDIA STINGER to see what movies have scenes during or after the credits.  I use it for every flick I go see, to see if it will benefit me to stay until the lights come on.  I contribute when I can, and I got credit for getting the Stinger submission for Tower Heist, but not without a price.

When I pulled out my phone, and this was the first time it was out since the trailers ended, within seconds, a man sitting two seats to my right stood up, tried to tough guy tower over me, and said "THANKS FOR HAVING YOUR PHONE OUT DURING THE MOVIE!"  Caps indicate his tone, and I was quite frankly, flabbergasted.

My quick retort was: "I didn't!" to which he said "IT IS OUT RIGHT NOW!" 

I should have just uttered: "NUHHH UHHHHHH, POPPY PANTS!," but what I actually said was that I thought he was a real joy to be around and told him to get out of my face.  Now I have been losing weight, but at 335, I am still quite formidable.  He left immediately and no blood was shed or blows were thrown.  I was angry, but I still have self-restraint.

My statement regarding this interaction is this: for my agitation at others during a movie, I consider the trailers and the credits fair game for cell phone use, especially when there are no stingers at hand. 

I was sorry that this jackalope was upset and had he handled it differently, I would have apologized in kind.  But I stand by my take on credits rolling cell phone usage.

What say you Reel Rhinoites?  What are your boundaries for theater etiquette?  What is your worst disturbance at the theater story?

Mine relates to an infant child crying through the duration of Drag Me To Hell.  That screaming infant helped me on my own personal descent into hell...what theater behavior has got your goat...let me know in the comments or via e-mail, and if I get a good enough response, I'll do a follow up post.

Now, on to the show...

TOWER HEIST 3.5 of 5 Horns

This was a passable entry into the adventure heist comedy genre.  I will say that if this was an R-rate flick (it was PG-13), that Eddie Murphy would officially be back.  For what he could spout in this milder environment, he was channelling very well, a similar vibe he had in Trading Places, the 1983 classic Eddie Murphy/Dan Aykroyd flick.  If you've never seen it, stop reading right now and go do it.  I mean it!

Okay, welcome back.  

Brett Ratner specializes in movies that seem to avoid risk, giving us much of the same old stuff, rather than anything resembling new ideas.  I don't say that to be mean, but I find his films so middle of the road.  Not since 1998, when he gave us the original Rush Hour, did he really impress me as a director...Rush Hour the first was well paced and funny as hell.

Even Red Dragon (2002) and X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) were based on previous properties and in both instances, these missed the bar set forth by their predecessors.

There really is an all-star cast here: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Alan Alda, Michael Pena, Tea Leoni, Judd Hirsch, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, and Gabourey Sibide.  For as great as that sounds, they all deliver fair performances, but Murphy and Sibide stand above the others, by far.

From IMDB: When a group of hard working guys find out they've fallen victim to a wealthy business man's (Alda)  Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence. 

Alda is a penthouse pimp who is adored by the staff at his high end apartment tower.  The bend to his every whim until they find out he is being charged with securities fraud, an investigation being led by Tea Leoni's free spirited FBI Agent.   

Our hero is Stiller's character, the apartment manager who is fired after taking out some aggression on Alda when he finds out they have been swindled.  He was canned along with Casey Affleck and Pena, and the three of them hatch a plan to get it all back, but they need help.

Broderick is evicted from the apartment, a former market expert, and he is brought in for his expertise.  

Murphy is a low level criminal who Stiller knows as a neighbor, and he is brought in as the expert in all things criminal.

Round out the gang with Sibide, a disgruntled maid who is about to be deported for an expired work Visa, and the gangs all here.

The vehicle for the MacGuffin (the cash) in this movie is a bit interesting, but I won't spoil it here.  The fact that the backdrop for this film is an apartment along the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade route, is also interesting.

Really that is a good way to describe this movie: interesting.

It is an interesting movie with a great cast, but the movie is never brought to the sum of its parts.  It is like Oceans 14, without Clooney or Pitt, and not nearly as good as any of Soderbergh's offerings.  I enjoyed seeing this, especially due to the resurgence of the Eddie Murphy I remember from my youth...here's hoping we can get this guy into an R-rated flick soon.  If they reboot Beverly Hills Cop with a rumored sequel, if it is PG-13, I will protest.

No more Meet Dave, no more Imagine That, no more Norbit...get back to the good stuff, baby.  And for the record, I am a Pluto Nash apologist...yep, like it a lot.  Get over it folks...it was the last time Randy Quaid was funny and overall, it is much more fun than anyone give it credit for.

Until later, have a Very Harold and Kumar Christmas...maybe that's up next for me...maybe Anonymous.  I haven't decided yet.  Who knows what the weekend will hold...just hopefully it doesn't involve any more verbal lashings by codgery old men.  A boy can dream...

Reel Rhino

The Next Evolution: Nov. 24th, 2011

On Wednesday, October 5th, 2011, Universal Pictures made a monumental announcement that would have a serious impact on the future of film and film going.

Tower Heist, a film by Brett Ratner, starring Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy, hits theaters on the 4th of November.  A very short 3 weeks later, Tower Heist will be released on Video On Demand.

Whoa.  It may not sound like much, but this is serious business.

Up until now, the only pre-theater release films set loose on VOD have been small, indie flicks; or films that had very low box office expectations. 

I love the concept of pre-theater release and same-day release for films that are released in very limited engagements.  I had the chance to see Tucker and Dale vs. Evil as a result...George Romero's latest installment in the Dead series...Hobo With a Shotgun...and even another look at Kevin Smith's Red State, before its release on DVD.

This concept is a good thing...but will it work for a major studio release?

Better yet, will it work when the price tag on catching Tower Heist at home is...

Wait for it...

$59.99

Okay, at first glance, that sounds absolutely effing crazy.  When I told The Kid in the Helmet, his kneejerk reaction was nothing short of poetry:

"Blow Me."

Gotta love The Kid!

Okay, so again, everyone calm down.  Yes, it sounds like an insane price.  But think about it for a minute.  Certainly, there is no way that this will become the standard means for people to see movies, or at least anytime in the foreseeable future.  Yes, the "rich" will probably choose this option at their leisure because they can...damn corporate fat cats!

But, for the average movie going joes and jills, 60 beans is quite a financial commitment for a single movie...or is it?

Let me use myself as an example for a moment:

Two movie tickets: $20.00 at AMC Barrywoods

#1 Combo: $13.75

Bottle of Water: $5.00

Pack of Twizlers: $6.00

and here's the kicker...

Babysitter for Reel Rhino Jr.: $40.00

Do the math...it works out!

This model is not for your average afternoon solo flight to the theater, BUT...this completely works for:

Date night

Bunch of friends catching a flick and drinking beers night

Your kid's sleepover

Your kid's birthday party

A movie party theme night

You get the idea.

My initial reaction was quite like yours.  I actually think this is a pretty lame way to give this a shot....three weeks later??!? 

Ideally, if I am going to blow a load of cash on a flick like this, I am paying for the privilege of seeing it at home when I want, from the first moment it is available.  But NATO (National Association of Theater Owners) is pretty unhappy at the prospect of the movie dollars shifting from their theaters to the cozy confines of everyone's living room and the high end home theater systems that have become so prevalent.  In fact, Cinemark is already talking about boycotting Tower Heist altogether.

Times are changing and we are living in the digital age.  I mean we are a far cry from the sedimentary society that was presented to us in WALL-E, but...times are a-changin'.

My fear is a real one, that rising prices for flicks and food at the theater will continue upwards as theaters try to react to this perceived encroachment on their livelihood.  But what are they really doing for us?

I applaud the distributors looking at new means for getting the art to the audience.  This is happening, just as it happened to the digitization of distribution of photographs; the transition of music from CD's to .mp3's; and the shift from the postal service and phone calls to e-mail and Skype.

Times are a-changin'...

So I say this...this idea is not a bad one.  Necessity is the mother of all invention, and perhaps this is the penis showing game the theaters need to get their ass in gear (anybody catch that obscure reference to cult-favorite flick, WAITING?).

Here is what I want to see:

Reasonable prices for popcorn, soda, and candy.  $7.75 for $0.22 worth of popcorn...hey, NATO, renegotiate the box office split with the studios...silently agree to spend a few years with lower profit margins...do something...do anything...but make this happen.  I think if you do, you will be pleasantly surprised at how willing people are to actually purchase MORE of your product.  Take an example from Kansas City's Sprint Center...they operate Quiktrip stores within the arena and sell re-donkulous amount of product to the more than eager arena-goers.  Doesn't it make you mad the lengths that people go to sneaking outside food into the theater?  Take some damn action.

Advanced theater going venues (ex. AMC's ETX) that don't have a huge upcharge attached to them...get over it, you upgraded your equipment.  Absorb the costs a bit more and you won't have empty theaters for the upsold shows!

Show quality prints of older movies.  Not just these digital re-releases that have been making the rounds, but more classic prints and short-time runs of the movies that have impacted cinema for so long.  You know Gone With The Wind is the most successful film of all time (inflation adjusted) and you can get it dirt cheap basically anywhere you look.  But I would pay a premium price to come and see this classic film on the big screen just once.  There is money to be made out there, you just have to be willing to work for it. 

Show special screenings of current films for roasts and live-tweet showings.  Both of these types of viewings would encourage second viewings.  Can you imagine if you got filmmakers and the film's stars involved?  Getting to watch a movie with a live-tweeted running commentary by those involved with the film?  Rian Johnson recorded an .mp3 commentary shortly after The Brother's Bloom was released so that you could watch the film with his commentary.  Brilliant.

Really, my thesis here is this:  You can't stop progress....you can adapt...or die.

I am glad that Universal is trying this out.  It isn't an insane idea and for smaller films, it has already taken hold as a successful means for generating viewership for movies many people may not have had access to.

Film is an art form...isn't it sad that corporations and alliances are keeping this art from being released however the hell anyone associated with its creation wants it to be released.

I love going to the movies...that will never change.  I love midnight screenings...that will never change.  But I want the big movie houses and distribution companies alike to remember that they are working for me.  I am the one holding the dollars they are fighting for...fight for me dammit!

I for one am looking forward to the right situation that presents itself so I want to drop $60 and catch one of these flicks at home.  I am glad that I have another option, no matter how ridiculous the price seems on the face of things.

When silent pictures became talkies....when B&W flicks added color...when 2-D added depth...all of these changes have lead to forecasts of DOOM.

The world kept spinning and movies kept playing.  This is the next evolution.  Just remember, everyone who is fighting this out, are working for you.  We need to demand better service, more options, and maybe even some decisions on green lighting flicks not based on a business model, but rather on the prospect of a movie being good. 

If you build it, they will come.