Friday, April 29, 2011

Reel Rhino's Weekend Preview

Sorry Charlie!  It seems life will go on
without you :-(
Allow me to digress, before I get into the weekend movie report… First of all, everyone can calm down…the collective prayers of the public have been answered!

Chuck Lorre, creator of Two and a Half Men, revealed this week that he has a plan that will allow the show to continue forward….without his eminence, Sir Charles Sheen, that is.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

I know you were all so very worried. Tornadoes are killing hundreds, but at least we will still have our favorite sitcom.

The early report is that the reboot will involve Jon Cryer, but not much else is known. Why not just change the name to One and a Half Men, and just keep it going as is?

I just had to get that off my chest. I am not a fan of Two and a Half Men. I do not watch Two and a Half Men. If they made it into a movie, then I would probably watch, in principal only. But for now, no thank you.

Enough of this nonsense. For those of you able to tear yourself away from the pageantry of the Royal wedding, please read on. Get on with it, Rhino? What does the weekend hold in store?

New Movies Opening This Week:

Who doesn't love the badass Reservoir Dogs-esque
"Posse Walk"
Fast Five - Wow. What a creative name. I actually find the Fast series to be good mindless fun, and but for the over the top cheeseball lines, I think these movies are completely watchable. Grab your popcorn, set your brain to cruise control, and enjoy. If you’re a boy who likes girls, a girl who likes boys, a boy who likes boys, or a girl who likes girls…you should be happy. There is enough eye candy here to satisfy everyone. I am actually a fan of Vin Diesel’s and the Rock’s alike. For a good see also, please check out The Rundown, one of my favorite movies of all time. Peter Berg is a talented visual director and Seann William Scott is funny in this non-Stifler role. A really good sign is that this flick sits at 78% fresh at Rotten Tomatoes, with 85 tallies in the bag. With last week’s lackluster offerings, maybe this will be the proper start to the summer movie season?

Prom - Tweens of the world rejoice. This will be the movie that the girls love and the boys dread. Or maybe I am interjecting my own memories of dread, when it comes to the prom. I didn’t really strike my stride for romance until my college years, and my prom was little more than a series of awkward moments, followed by an all-night party of drinking one Zima and brushing against my dates bum once by accident. Oh Joy. Nope, this is a must miss for the ol’ Rhino. 50% at RT right now with 34 votes counted. God help us if Rotten Tomatoes counted High School Newspaper critics.

Hoodwinked Too! Hood VS. Evil - If you haven’t seen the 2005 film, Hoodwinked, the film to which this is a sequel, you probably aren’t alone. This is a shame, because as fractured fairy tales go, Hoodwinked is an enjoyable romp through some of our favorite children’s tales. From the buzz around this effort, things have taken a turn for the ugh. First sign things have gone wrong, Hayden Panettiere has taken over the role played with great skill in the original, by Anne Hathaway. Oh, lament. Hayden Panettiere you just goat roped Scream 4 and now this. I think I have solved some of the mystery behind why this was even made. Other than an indie dramedy last year, Cory and Todd Edwards, the brothers who were the brains behind the original film, have done seemingly nothing. Just as desperation can fuel greatness, it can also fuel mediocrity or worse. Sorry Edwards…it’s not fair of me to judge as I haven’t seen the film, but it doesn’t look good for you this go around.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night - This is perhaps the film being released this weekend that has me the most curious. Let me lead by saying I was a huge fan of Darren Lynn Bousman’s 2008, REPO! The Genetic Opera. How does it relate to this movie? I have no clue. But what I am trying to say is that I appreciate and enjoy original and creative films, certainly which includes Repo. Dylan Dog is based on an Italian comic, featuring a paranormal investigator named….drumroll…Dylan Dog. The titular character is played by Brandon Routh, who for his wooden delivery, I find charming and enjoyable. I especially liked his turn as Super Vegan, Todd Ingram, in last years Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, which pulled in the #3 spot on my top films of 2010. The first strike against Dog may be this….movies with colons in the title are rarely worth the extra ink for each dot in the colon. Even worse of course, are titles with semi-colons. So the question is this…is Dylan Dog doing what so many films (Repo included, unfortunately) have tried? That is the false generation of cult status through creative marketing and titling. I don’t know if that is the case, but I for one am looking forward to finding out. Superman he may not be (I also liked that film as well!), but with a strong supporting cast (Peter Stormare, Taye Diggs, and Sam Huntington), I think it may have a chance. If nothing else, I have a feeling that at least I will be entertained. Final note of warning. Dylan Dog did not screen for critics, so there is no Rotten Tomatoes score to offer as a preview. Not screening films is reserved for the extreme upper echelon and for those studios who fear that they may be delivering a stinker. Again, I hope this not to be true, but all ye have been warned.

Last Week’s Top Ten
1. Rio
2. Madea’s Big Happy Family
3. Water for Elephants
4. Hop
5. Scream 4
6. African Cats
7. Soul Surfer
8. Hanna
9. Insidious
10. Source Code

My predictions from last week were slightly off. I’m not too upset as I feel I was in the right ballpark, but just off the foul pole. I was 2 for 5 with all five I picked actually hitting the top five!

My Box Office Predictions from Last Week:
1.Hop (#4)
2.Madea’s Big Happy Family (#2 — Yeah!)
3. Rio (#1)
4. Water for Elephants (#3)
5. Scream 4 (#5 — Yeah!)

So I offer this to you. I am making my predictions below, and I invite you to do the same. Add your picks to the comments below or e-mail them to me at  If anyone nails a 5 for 5, you get to pick a review for the following week.  It's kind of like a year long Oscar pool!  Here are my picks:

My Box Office Predictions for this Week:
1. Fast Five
2. Madea’s Big Happy Family
3. Rio
4. Prom
5. Water for Elephants

Now it’s time to get real, folks. You may or may not know, but I, Reel Rhino, am a Michael Bay apologist. If Bay were here right now, he’d tell me to piss up a rope…he’d tell me he’s more than enough without me in his corner.  He would be right.

Michael Bay is a visual genius. Of course this is my opinion and many feel his visual style is too intense and overpowers the stories.

Michael Bay made my boyhood dream a reality.

He gave me…check that, he gave the world… GIANT F***ING ROBOTS FIGHTING.

That was the mantra on the set of the first Transformers film. Now my love of Bay began long ago. Long before I took a shine to the more refined side of film. That admiration has stuck with me all along, from his early days with one of my favorites, Armageddon, up to his last pre-TF film, The Island, his first flop, but also the first film he Directed not under the wing of Jerry Bruckheimer, but instead under the wing of Steven Spielberg. That’s quite a wing to be under, folks.

Bad Ass Banner of Fan Fave SHOCKWAVE.
A boy and his car. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen diverged quite sharply from the model of the first things. The plot got muddled, the action got crazy, and for all its shortcomings, I remain a fan.

With this long winded defense of his excellence, Dr. Bay, I offer you the must see video of the week:

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Theatrical Trailer

Until next time, take care.

Reel Rhino

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